Canada’s Mexico

Being about a 15 minute drive from Canada, I’ve been given to understand that the United States is Canada’s Mexico.  People come from Mexico to the United States all of the time to work under the table.  They get paid less then minimum wage and don’t have to pay taxes or anything else on their earnings.  Apparently people do the same thing coming from the US to Canada.  Therefore Canada is very sensitive about Americans going into Canada.  I’ve heard horror stories of people getting held for 1 to 3 days at the customs office.

Because of that and my lack of a passport, I had no desire to even try to go into Canada.  Additionally, everything in Canada is more expensive and people from Vancouver, Canada are snotty I am told.  I have no business being in Canada.  The only place in Canada that I want to see is Prince Edward Island.

Nevertheless I was taken to Canada against my will.  The other Lesley and I were on our way from the food bank to the grocery store (I seriously just wanted cottage cheese) and she took a wrong turn and landed us in Canada.  I had Comet with me as the food bank and the store in the evening are good low key places to take a service animal who is getting used to public places.

There we were driving up to the border.  I kept saying that we needed to turn around but the only ditch exits were too small for that stupid truck.  We went up to the gate without passports or any desire to go to Canada.  Worst yet we were in the Nexus line, which I’d also heard that Canadians were particularly emotional about people going through the Nexus line when they didn’t have a Nexus card.

The man at the gate directed us to the customs office after asking if we had weapons or anything else illegal in the truck.  All of which we denied having.  As we were walking into the building, Lesley realized that she did in fact have a pistol in the truck.  The pistol was not registered and hadn’t been fired in 30 years.  Not only that, she had it shoved behind her seat in an unreachable spot.  In all likelihood the pistol never would have been found, however, Lesley told them all about the pistol.  She was arrested and I was told I could go home.

That left me with two big problems.  1. Lesley was diabetic and needed her medication and 2 how the heck was I going to get home?  I called Ken the hostel manager to come get me and bring Lesley’s meds.  Luckily Ken has duel citizenship between Canada and the US so he was able to come into Canada and leave with little issue.  Comet and I waited about 15 to 20 minutes before Ken was able to reach us.  The agents told me that I could take my dog outside if I needed.  That’s right, Comet totally peed on Canada.

Ken brought Lesley’s medication and drove me back to the hostel.  We had to stop at the American customs where they asked me why I was trying to go to Canada.  Again I explained that all I’d wanted was some cottage cheese.  They wanted to know what was my relation to Ken.  We explained that he is the manager and I am the assistant manager of the Birch Bay Hostel.  I carried Comet from Canada to the US.

 

Finally I was safe at home at my hostel.  When Lesley got back she explained how she had a court date in Canada on charges of weapon smuggling into Canada.  The weird thing is that they will give her a temporary citizenship so she can go to court.  Oh Canada, thou art weird.

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